Today has been such a good day. It's the first in a long time that I haven't been forced to break the Sabbath. Let me begin by telling you that human beings need Sundays. It is a fact of life. And not just to be able to go have fun and party at the Disco Techs, it's a day for deep thought, meditation, and growth. I hope to be able to have more Sundays like this one while I'm here because it has been so wonderful. I was able to bear my testimony today, and it didn't go so bad. It's hard to express things that I feel in Spanish because it doesn't flow naturally out of my mouth yet. With time, I hope it will. But I wanted to share what I talked about here because it has consumed my thoughts. I would also like to point out right now that I am in no way judging anyone who is reading this because who am I, a sinner, to judge someone else? I am merely commenting on my own life, which is, I believe, the point of a blog. Therefore, don't think for one minute that I am talking directly to any of you.
Here in Mexico, it is really easy to get pirated movies very cheaply. Like it's on the sidewalk on every road in the city of Tehuacán. They are only 10-20 pesos which is like a dollar. Sweet deal, right? I will admit that I have purchased many of these movies, and the quality is actually really great. It's just like a regular movie! But everytime I buy one, I kill myself a little inside. I know it's wrong. I would never steal a movie out of a store or download one off the internet, why is buying pirated movies any different? I found that I was trying to justify it to myself, and that is when I knew I had a problem. There was no way around it. Buying pirated movies is stealing, and that's the end of it.
While I was thinking about this predicament I was in, I remembered a talk given in one of my Young Women's classes. 'How much would you sell your integrity for?' they said. I wouldn't sell it for anything, of course! It's my integrity! I can withstand watching R rated movies and crazy boys. But I sold my integrity for 20 pesos the day I bought a pirated movie. You'd think my integrity would be worth more than 20 pesos!
Another thought that came to mind is that you need to be who you want to marry. Okay, it's true, I like boys. And I can't wait to be married to one of them. I just want to be really awesome for him, okay? He deserves it. Whoever he is. That includes throwing out/giving away my pirated movies. I don't want a husband who justifies bad behavior, so I can't do it either.
The straw that broke the camel's back, however, was the thought of Lamoni's father when Aaron was teaching him about the gospel. 'I would give away all my sins to know thee...' How powerful those words are. Am I willing to give up buying movies really cheaply in order to know my Heavenly Father better? What else am I doing that is preventing me from knowing Him? What else am I doing that is preventing Him from blessing me? How much happier could I be? Let me tell you, I'm pretty dang happy. But could I do something that would provide greater happiness? More prolonged happiness?
Ah, the things to think about on a Sunday.
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